Bouncer (Bad Boys in Big Trouble Book 2) - Fiona Roarke

Bouncer

Bad Boys in Big Trouble 2

Fiona Roarke

Saturday night – Joe’s Bar

“What do you mean you’ve never had sex before?” The utter surprise in Kelli Baker’s tone was second only to the volume at which she shouted the inflammatory information.

Jessica Hayes sent her soon-to-be-ex-best friend a horrified look. Speechless, she promptly lowered her head in abject shame, afraid to look around and see who might have heard the notification to the world of her virginal status. The trendy upscale bar they were in was quiet enough that voices could definitely carry well outside of their private two person circle.

Knowing Kelli as she did and that her friend would continue chattering until stopped, Jessica regrouped quickly and snapped, “Could you say that a little louder? I don’t think the single desperate men of Outer Mongolia heard you.”

Kelli glanced over one shoulder quickly and promptly touched Jessica’s hand in apology. “Well, I’m sorry, but I mean, damn, girlfriend! When you said you really needed to get laid I didn’t realize we were talking about the premier event. I almost brought a guy with me tonight, but he had to work. So how did you make it to your advanced age without bumping uglies with a guy?”

“Four older brothers and a small Midwestern town.” Jessica took a sip of her club soda with lime and the memories of her high school years invaded her thoughts.

The high school boys of Cornelia, Missouri were all cowards. No guy would ever ask her out for fear of retribution. Her shortest brother was six foot two, damn it. A mother bear seemed neglectful in comparison to her brothers and the way they protected her from the advances of any male in a three county radius, a skill they learned well from their father.

Even now she couldn’t visit home without all the eligible bachelors between the ages of eighteen and eighty cowering away from her in fear.

“You don’t say. Sounds like the title of a bad TV movie of the week.”

“Yeah, that’s my love life—a bad TV movie of the week broadcast on cable at two in the morning. It isn’t as if I haven’t tried, you know. I got close a couple of times, but in retrospect I was far too picky.”

“Define close,” Kelli said, twirling her drink straw around the ice in the bottom of her nearly empty glass.

“My second year of college.”

“Do tell.”

“He was a sports media major. Deep voice. Sexy deep-blue eyes. He stared at me in the cafeteria for a month before finally asking me out.”

“So why didn’t you do him?”

“I tried. We went to a pledge week frat party at his fraternity house, where he managed to get rip-roaring drunk in record time. He led me, staggering all the way, to his room. We had to kick out another couple and he cleared most of the coats off the bed before feeling me up a couple times and then ejaculating on the sleeve of one unlucky guest’s Burberry jacket.”

“Eew. That’s just nasty.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry to offend your delicate sensibilities. It was a frat party. Everyone knows you take your chances if you leave coats and stuff laying around in any of the bedrooms. That was karma, pure and simple.”

“So you didn’t even get anything out of the near exchange of bodily fluids?”

“Not really. I got up and left, but quite a few people saw me leave his bedroom. Frat Boy apparently thought he did the deed, so he washed his hands of me directly afterwards and considered the conquest done. On Monday he started staring at a freshman with big boobs and ignored me completely. I was so embarrassed. It took me a year and a half to get up enough nerve to try again.”

Kelli shook her head. “He’s the one who should have been embarrassed. I wish I’d been around back then to get you back up on the horse.” She took a long sip, finished her drink and gestured at the busy bartender to prepare another. “As a matter of fact, if you’d mentioned I was dealing with virgin territory tonight, I would have selected a different place. Hell, I would have hand-picked someone special to take care of you.”

The thought of Kelli explaining to someone special how her friend needed to be de-virginized made Jessica wish she’d ordered tequila tonight instead of club soda to numb the humiliation.

“Great. Or I could just schedule an appointment with my gynecologist and have it done surgically. Maybe she could light a candle for